The Zombie Always Knocks Twice (Hollyweird #1) by E. Van Lowe
Paperback, 211 pages
Published August 21st 2012 by Imajin Books
Hollywood, California, is known for swimming pools,
movie stars…and now the risen dead.
Hollywood can be a difficult place to grow up, especially if you’re Kristine Golden, a fifteen-year-old necromancer with a sworn duty to lay the risen dead back to rest and no desire to be in the movie business.
When handsome deadie Alex Romero swaggers into her life, Kris must keep her promise, despite her growing feelings for him. If that’s not enough to give a girl a headache, a murderous zombie comes knocking at Kris’s door, rocking her world and threatening her family.
Can Kris solve the mystery of the rampaging zombie before someone else winds up dead? Or will the walking dead take over Hollywood and turn it into…Hollyweird?
REVIEWS:
"The Zombie Always Knocks Twice is your 'backstage pass' to the hidden underbelly of Hollywood, the one few tourists get to see, where there are almost as many 'Deadies' as there are starlets. In this trailblazing mash-up of zombies and movie buffs, E. Van Lowe puts the 'weird'—not to mention totally awesome—in Hollyweird! It's Buffy meets Entourage—with a little Columbo thrown in for good measure—in this incredibly hilarious, twisted, action-packed mash-up of zombies, necromancers, murder, made for TV movies and a fair sprinkling of old Hollywood lore for good measure. Whip-snap pacing, a kick butt heroine, a plot involving zombies, starlets, movie studios, murder, mystery and enough shady characters to fill Central Casting, The Zombie Always Knocks Twice is your ticket to a grand adventure worthy of the big screen." —Rusty Fischer, author of Zombies Don't Cry
"If you want an insight into the secret underworld of Hollyweird, complete with zombies, grave goblins and fast-talking necromancers then look no further than The Zombie Always Knocks Twice. E. Van Lowe is a writing force to be reckoned with and you are in masterful hands from the first page to the last. I loved everything about this fabulous, funny, snarky book and am giving it a big zombie thumbs up!" —Amanda Ashby, author of Zombie Queen of Newbury High
"Hooray for E. Van Lowe's The Zombie Always Knocks Twice, which breathes new life into the YA Paranormal genre with more than a little bit of tongue in cheek and a whole lot of fun. Lead by a teenage necromancer who loves to quote movie themes, wears pink fuzzy ear muffs and is desperately trying not to fail algebra, the cast of characters keeps the reader engaged and breathlessly awaiting the next installment." —The Paranormal Romance Guild.
The man coming up the block toward us in the hooded sweatshirt stopped directly in our
path, about ten feet away. The hood dropped revealing his face. The hair on the left side of his
head had been shaved off revealing tiny bits of bony white scalp. Huge staples held his crooked
jaw in place. There was a large indentation in his forehead from some sort of blunt force impact.
His left eye was covered with a milky, white cataract, and the right drooped unnaturally into his
cheek.
My breath caught yet again. Standing before us was a zombie.
‘LEAVE US ALONE!” the zombie screeched. Then he took off on a dead run and
plowed into Alex with the impact a freight train.
Just great, I thought. Hollyweird—where the dead come out to play.
Zombies aren’t what the movies make them out to be—slow moving, brain dead,
brain suckers. They’re the result of a raising gone bad. They can be strong, and fast, and very
dangerous. Also, a bite from a zombie won’t make you a member of the living dead, although
I’m sure it must hurt like hell.
The one that plowed into Alex was almost six feet tall and about seventeen years old. He
hit Alex with inhuman force, propelling him backward. They slammed into a parked car that
seemed to explode on impact. The twisting metal and shattering glass sounded like a horrible
automobile accident. The car was totaled, and Alex was embedded into the passenger side, like a
toy soldier into a wad of Play Doh.
“Oh, God!” I screamed.
Alex’s eyes were closed. He wasn’t moving… but the zombie was. He peeled himself
away from Alex and the wreckage.
“Zombie!” I called at the top of my lungs. “I command you to tell me who raised you
and what you are doing here.”
The zombie faced me, a puzzled look on his distorted face. It dawned on me he hadn’t
known I was a necromancer until then—not that it made a difference. He wasn’t bound to me so
he didn’t have to answer my questions. I was bluffing.
“LEAVE US ALONE!” He screamed in response. He started for me and a wave of fear
rippled my gut.
“I command you to stay back!” I called, but my voice was cracking, my words lacked
conviction. I took a few shaky steps backward. The zombie continued toward me.
Just then the sound of twisting metal snagged both our attention. Alex’s eyes were open,
and he was separating himself from the wreckage. He shed the automobile with the ease of a
snake shedding an old skin. He began advancing on the zombie.
“What’s going on down there?” We all looked up and saw three men, all Johnny do-
gooders, running up the block in our direction.
“Leave her alone,” one of them called.
The zombie looked from the advancing men to Alex and me.
“Hhhhh!” Hot breath hissed angrily at us. Then he took off past us like a deer, bounding
up the block. By the time the men reached us he was nowhere in sight.
“You ok?” one of them asked.
“Yes. He… attacked us?”
“What the heck happened here?” Another of the men asked. He was staring at the
twisted pile of metal that used to be a Buick.
Before I could open my mouth, Alex launched into an explanation. “My girl and I were
out for a stroll, and he was taking a sledge hammer to that car when we happened upon him.
path, about ten feet away. The hood dropped revealing his face. The hair on the left side of his
head had been shaved off revealing tiny bits of bony white scalp. Huge staples held his crooked
jaw in place. There was a large indentation in his forehead from some sort of blunt force impact.
His left eye was covered with a milky, white cataract, and the right drooped unnaturally into his
cheek.
My breath caught yet again. Standing before us was a zombie.
‘LEAVE US ALONE!” the zombie screeched. Then he took off on a dead run and
plowed into Alex with the impact a freight train.
Just great, I thought. Hollyweird—where the dead come out to play.
Zombies aren’t what the movies make them out to be—slow moving, brain dead,
brain suckers. They’re the result of a raising gone bad. They can be strong, and fast, and very
dangerous. Also, a bite from a zombie won’t make you a member of the living dead, although
I’m sure it must hurt like hell.
The one that plowed into Alex was almost six feet tall and about seventeen years old. He
hit Alex with inhuman force, propelling him backward. They slammed into a parked car that
seemed to explode on impact. The twisting metal and shattering glass sounded like a horrible
automobile accident. The car was totaled, and Alex was embedded into the passenger side, like a
toy soldier into a wad of Play Doh.
“Oh, God!” I screamed.
Alex’s eyes were closed. He wasn’t moving… but the zombie was. He peeled himself
away from Alex and the wreckage.
“Zombie!” I called at the top of my lungs. “I command you to tell me who raised you
and what you are doing here.”
The zombie faced me, a puzzled look on his distorted face. It dawned on me he hadn’t
known I was a necromancer until then—not that it made a difference. He wasn’t bound to me so
he didn’t have to answer my questions. I was bluffing.
“LEAVE US ALONE!” He screamed in response. He started for me and a wave of fear
rippled my gut.
“I command you to stay back!” I called, but my voice was cracking, my words lacked
conviction. I took a few shaky steps backward. The zombie continued toward me.
Just then the sound of twisting metal snagged both our attention. Alex’s eyes were open,
and he was separating himself from the wreckage. He shed the automobile with the ease of a
snake shedding an old skin. He began advancing on the zombie.
“What’s going on down there?” We all looked up and saw three men, all Johnny do-
gooders, running up the block in our direction.
“Leave her alone,” one of them called.
The zombie looked from the advancing men to Alex and me.
“Hhhhh!” Hot breath hissed angrily at us. Then he took off past us like a deer, bounding
up the block. By the time the men reached us he was nowhere in sight.
“You ok?” one of them asked.
“Yes. He… attacked us?”
“What the heck happened here?” Another of the men asked. He was staring at the
twisted pile of metal that used to be a Buick.
Before I could open my mouth, Alex launched into an explanation. “My girl and I were
out for a stroll, and he was taking a sledge hammer to that car when we happened upon him.
Guess it was some kind of vendetta. And when he saw us he decided to add us to the list.” The
lie flowed from his lips effortlessly.
“Hey, aren’t you on that TV show?” the third man asked.
Alex smiled. “The Beloved. Yes. You watch it?”
“No, but my girlfriend does. She can’t get enough of you vampire guys.”
Any suspicions the men may have had about our presence on the street or Alex molesting
me immediately vanished. Alex was a bona fide Hollywood star. I guess they thought all stars
were boy scouts. Where have they been?
Several minutes and three autographs later the men were gone, and Alex and I were
walking back to the party.
“You told that lie like you do it all the time,” I said.
“I’m a dead person among the living. I do do it all the time.”
That wasn’t what I was talking about, but I didn’t push it. He seemed annoyed. I guess
being attacked by a zombie wasn’t an everyday occurrence for him either.
“If it makes you feel any better, I memorized the car’s plate number. I’ll take care of the
damage,” he said, his words softening.
“Thanks. That does make me feel better.” I wanted to hold my tongue, but I couldn’t.
“So, you have any enemies who’d want to send a zombie after you?”
“I don’t have any enemies. I’m a lover not a fighter.” The annoyance was back.
“Maybe you loved the wrong woman.”
“I’m dead. I can’t love any woman,” he replied. The words were seething with anger or
pain. I couldn’t tell which.
“He said ‘leave us alone.’ Who’s us?” I asked.
“I don’t know!”
He was getting agitated again so I dropped the subject. But not without noting there was
more to Alex than he was telling me. A vindictive zombie had been set loose in Hollywood.
It was something I needed to look into along with the deadie from the diner. My, my, I was
suddenly a very busy girl.
lie flowed from his lips effortlessly.
“Hey, aren’t you on that TV show?” the third man asked.
Alex smiled. “The Beloved. Yes. You watch it?”
“No, but my girlfriend does. She can’t get enough of you vampire guys.”
Any suspicions the men may have had about our presence on the street or Alex molesting
me immediately vanished. Alex was a bona fide Hollywood star. I guess they thought all stars
were boy scouts. Where have they been?
Several minutes and three autographs later the men were gone, and Alex and I were
walking back to the party.
“You told that lie like you do it all the time,” I said.
“I’m a dead person among the living. I do do it all the time.”
That wasn’t what I was talking about, but I didn’t push it. He seemed annoyed. I guess
being attacked by a zombie wasn’t an everyday occurrence for him either.
“If it makes you feel any better, I memorized the car’s plate number. I’ll take care of the
damage,” he said, his words softening.
“Thanks. That does make me feel better.” I wanted to hold my tongue, but I couldn’t.
“So, you have any enemies who’d want to send a zombie after you?”
“I don’t have any enemies. I’m a lover not a fighter.” The annoyance was back.
“Maybe you loved the wrong woman.”
“I’m dead. I can’t love any woman,” he replied. The words were seething with anger or
pain. I couldn’t tell which.
“He said ‘leave us alone.’ Who’s us?” I asked.
“I don’t know!”
He was getting agitated again so I dropped the subject. But not without noting there was
more to Alex than he was telling me. A vindictive zombie had been set loose in Hollywood.
It was something I needed to look into along with the deadie from the diner. My, my, I was
suddenly a very busy girl.
Tour Wide Giveaway:
- 10 Kindle copies of The Zombie Always Knocks Twice
- 1Bewitching zombie prize pack contains: zombie bag, zombie zone caution tape, fake brains in a meat container (because what's a zombie prize pack without brains right), two rubber duckies, a large bloody hand print sticker, Bat Bite hand sanitizer, Halloween theme bottle stickers, a purple skull mug, and a Bewitching notebook, pen, and necklace.
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